Friday, 20 February 2015

Headache.

The feeling when you're so emotionally drained and emotionally betrayed, you don't wanna think or feel at all. 

I almost had a mental breakdown when his words pierced through my head. It feels like my head, because it's aching now. But I believe, it's words like knives that pierced through my heart. 

I understand that he means well, and all is said out of love and concern. But I feel so burdened and pulled back. I'm tied down. Chained. Struggling to break free. Stuck. Maybe in the eyes of men, say I'm selfish, say I'm unfilial, say I'm crazy. I don't want to care. Sorry, I need to dodge all these resistants to get to where I'm suppose to be. Focused. Single-minded. My eyes set on that one goal. 

S reminded me that I'll be facing more obstacles in time to come. And as I thought about it, with that little energy left in my mental state, this is so small compared to the things to come in future. 

And I asked myself, can I still keep my sanity when those times really come?

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