My personal retreat with the Lord.

I thought the single-mindedness that I had with me in my mission trip would be brought back to Singapore too. How nice it was, when all I thought of back there and then was God and His people. God and the lost. The inner feelings I had when I came back to Singapore wasn't as overwhelming as my friends. I didn't carry much emotions. I thought I could adapt well. But I didn't realise that I had been suppressing my feelings and my thoughts. How much I miss every moment when my mind was so fully focused on God, how much I miss every moment when my mind wasn't as distracted and cluttered when I am in Singapore.

But I have to face all these business, it's part and parcel of my life! And instead of complaining and drowning in self-pity, whining about how much I want to be back there, and indulging in every moment of how I so freely and easily enter into the presence of God back there and then because there were no distractions, why not I make full use of my duties here to glorify my Father in heaven?(:

Yesterday, I went to the office and AUNTIE BECKY wasn't there! :OOO(aww man, I can't use emoji here. No fun.) Coz she took leave luh(: I thought she was sick, but it turned out, she just wanted to spend some time with God(: SO NICEEEE.

And something struck me. Ever since I came back, I haven't properly spend time with my Father, I felt so distant from Him. It's not like His presence is not with me, it's more like, my presence is not with Him! Oh dear, I felt so bad. I haven't been spending quality time with my Father in heaven.

All these while, He had been my refuge and strength, He is an ever-present help in my troubles. God is so awesome! The way He can have personal relationship with His children and how His presence never leaves us! All these are truths. God will never leave me. The earth will fade, people in my life come and go, but God will never fail, He never leaves me. I am still very touched by these truths and promises.

So, after I knew AUNTIE BECKY took leave just to spend time with our Father, I made a decision! I will go on a personal retreat! Yes! I will! So yesterday, I spent the night planning for my personal retreat the next day! And I shared my decision with my most awesomest-somest-somest SM-MELLLLLL! ;D

JASMIN'S PERSONAL RETREAT.

So during this personal retreat, God helped me to realize that my heart, my mind and my soul is still flying somewhere back in that place, and I had to bring my heart, my mind and my soul back to Singapore! Yes. I only realised it until today. I haven't really come back to Singapore. Physically, yes, mentally and spiritually? NO. So I really thank God for this personal retreat because I am now refreshed and truly back here!

When I came back to Singapore, I continued to give thanks to the Lord for my wonderful experiences in Cambodia, but I felt empty and weird as I couldn't listen to God as clearly or as sensitively as when I was in Cambodia. I was simply too distracted by the things of this world. Anything. Or... everything. School? Preparation for school? Preparation for vision teas. The media. Friends. Family. Whatever is it, my life in Singapore, the things in my hands, can get rather overwhelming at times. I'm not blaming the materials of these world nor am I blaming anyone for being in my life, I am thankful for all these. It's just that, sometimes, my heart and my mind, can be distracted and directed to the wrong places that separates my from God, causing me to slowly drift away from Him. I ams tarting to lose focus on things that are for eternity and am losing sight of the source that is my provider for life, I am losing sight of my eternal life. This is something I fervently pray that will not happen. So, I really need strength from God and I need to find rest in Him, to be refreshed once again to face the world and glorify Him.

Nevertheless, I am still thankful that God still wants to use me to do His will on this earth. I am thankful to be living in Singapore. I am thankful for the new friendships formed within the mission team. I thank Lord Jesus for really bringing people together. I thank Lord Jesus for giving me these sisters in Christ, and teaching me what it is to truly love and accept one another for who we are, and giving me opportunities to put these into practise. We are all very different in our own ways, but what connects us together is the love of God. I am sure I've offended my sisters at any point in our trip, and most of them, being older than me, are so humble and forgiving. This is the love of God that shines within our mission team, this driven love within us is from the strength of God. For we are too weak as humans to love so unconditionally.

I am thankful for the experiences I had there. Every moment of it, be it seeing the glory of God shine or be it facing rejections and spiritual warfare. I enjoyed every moment.

I am thankful that God brought me to Asia's Hope Orphan Home, there I saw the love and glory of God shining so passionately in these children. I am deeply touched and strongly encouraged as I see the faith, hope and love in the eyes of my brothers and sisters in Christ at Asia's Hope.

I am thankful for the relationship forged with Pu Songha and Pu Lim Bao Luo, and with the locals there.

I am grateful to be a child of God. I am grateful that You have adopted me into this spiritual family that will last for eternity. And all these is happening because of the sufferings Lord Jesus went through for us. I was paid a high price to be redeemed from the devil. Lord Jesus did it for me. I always fail Him, but He still love me to the extent that He died on the cross for me. This love is so hard to fathom and too great for me.

Through this retreat, God revealed to me the true meaning of being a Body in Christ. It is when all of us become one. Just like the Holy Trinity. The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. They are 3 in 1. HAHA. I don't know how to explain.

But I don't think I can account my personal retreat today in 1 entry, because, it was quite long(:

But I still thank God for helping me review my personal objectives and giving me a new vision(:

And these are my anchor scriptures as I start a new school term! Romans 12:1-21, Matthew 5:13-16 and Acts 1:7-8

I had an awesome time with my heavenly Father today.

Taking time out to think about His goodness,

taking time out to reflect upon my sinful actions and confessing them to Him,

taking time out to give thanks to Him,

seeking Him in reviewing my personal objectives and laying them upon His word instead of my own thoughts and feelings,

praying and interceding,

once again abiding in Christ, being reminded that I am to remain in Him just as He will remain in my so that I may be a branch that will bear fruit because of His power.

May everyday be just as awesome with His presence with me every moment! I am hopeful! Thank the Lord!

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes form the mouth of God.' " -Matthew 4:4