what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?

Just one or two days ago, I was overwhelmed by the amount of assignments I had to do and the amount of materials I had to revise and study. I mean, come on, who doesn't wanna do well for school? Isn't it every students' aim to score more than average grades and impress anyone at all? For me, a GPA of 3.5 was the lowest I must get. Anything below that is considered BAD. That's for me, and that's the expectation I set for myself. As compared to the other students in my course, a GPA of 3.5 isn't very high.

I wanted to cultivate the habit of consistency, so that I don't have  to be a mugger when my papers are near. But because of the many small commitments that I'm taking up, I always reached home tired and unfocused. So I can only get very few things done.

Little did I know that I was actually slowly placing these responsibilities above my source of hope, strength, comfort, rest and refuge.

Just yesterday morning, I was doing my quiet time on Deuteronomy 4 (Idolatry forbidden).

V23: Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden.

In a world like this, there are so many things that can distract me from my focus on God. Things of this world can often trick me into falling prey of idolatry, simple and what seem like harmless everyday things such as music, media, people, materials, even my own studies or even myself - aiming to be that someone who meets all my own expectations and standards. Yes. All these can end up being my idols.

And yet again, what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? All the short-term goals I set for myself?


The things of this world will fade, but God, my Father, my source of hope, will never fade. Is it not true that you'll get drained, when you work so hard, and you have no idea what you're working so hard for? Or maybe you're working hard for your future, but yet again, who can affirm you that your plans will not falter? Who can you seek hope from? Who can affirm you? Who can promise you an eternity of assurance and affirmation?

These few days, I was quite stressed up and physically, emotionally and spiritually drained. I was so worried. I was not excited about anything. I lost sight of my Father. And I felt bad. Really bad. I mean. I know the truth. He will be with me wherever I go, He will not forsake me. But the thing is, I am drifting away from Him, and I am forsaking Him. I am the problem. And that is bad. Really bad. I didn't want whatever that was happening to happen. And what's worst? I didn't realize that my potential of being a victim of idolatry was possible, until, I had dinner with my discipleship group yesterday.

Mel asked us how has our walk with God been. And yeah, what can I say? I've been doing my quiet time, I've been trying really hard to be single-minded, I really did, but poof! It was just a-snap-of-a finger easy to fall away.

I was confessing how pressurized I was feeling about all the assignments and lessons for the first two weeks and how worried I was getting. My mind was just so distracted and all I could think of were the responsibilities in my hands.

Emcee for vision tea. Emcee for Kaleidoscope. Design logo for Mr. Chong's company. Fill in the game plans for the racial and religious youth camp for YEC. Design the T-shirt for the camp. Study MRM. Revise advert notes. Do web critique assignment. Create a new idea for TV prod script. Blah. Blah. Blah.

And Mel asked me what did God teach me during my quiet time that morning, and my mind was a complete blank. Oh no. I was searching. Searching through my cluttered mind and trying really hard to dig out my quiet time memory that morning. I was quite lost. And I just wanted to cry. What was happening to me? Oh dear.

And them Yixuan shared about the things that she's going through too, and I realized that we're like on the same boat. And then I recalled what my quiet time was about, it was about idolatry. And then, that evening at the dinner table with my DG, God revealed the potential idol that was consuming my life.

After dinner, Yixuan and I spent time together at Sogurt and we talked about our walk with God and how we can be aligned to His will again and not to lose sight of Him. I really thank God for her gift of knowledge as it served as an encouragement to me.

We prayed for each other and parted ways.

Yesterday night, I was really tired. Overwhelmed. Distracted. Loaded. I wanted to study, but nothing will get into my head. So I just went to sleep.

Today, was a good day though! My heart is so filled with joy.

I knew that I had no more time to memorize my emcee script, so I have decided to read off the script no matter how unprofessional it may seem. I went to school, went for lessons, had a good time with my classmates, and today was a very prayerful day, I prayed at random times and random moments and it was good.

Then I rushed for Vision Tea after my lesson ended at 5.55pm, before that I was quite nervous, I don't really enjoy being an emcee. I always thought it was a tough and challenging role. But when I met Jamie, I was so encouraged and my mood was lighten and brighten up! Hehe. We rehearsed once through and all was good. God gave me the strength and courage to interact with the newcomers and I really enjoyed my time. I thought that my emceeing was one of the most enjoyable experience among all the other emceeing experiences I had. I really committed all things into the hands of the Lord and He gave me the words to speak, especially during transitions and all. It was awesome.

Usually, after emceeing and event, I would be so drained, and I'd swear I will never be the emcee for another event again(which was not always the case), but today, my heart was filled with joy and all praise and glory be to my Father in heaven!

I prayed and prayed, that I can lay my burdens at the foot of the cross and just trust Him in all circumstances. And today, my heart is light and my mood is bright. Thank God.

I can only say, I am afraid to be away from the presence of God. Sometimes, unknowingly, I would just be tempted to fall away from Him, but I must clarify, that I don't want to. Nevertheless, I will never leave His sight, and He will aways watch over me and be with me. He is a God who is quick to forgive those who repent. How great is our God.


When we get tired and the things of this world drained us, the children who once drifted away from their Father will eventually return to Him because that's where we can find our comfort and rest, being where God is, is where we belong.


When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him. -Deuteronomy 4:30