Divergent

After much pondering, rationalising, seeking and praying I have made the decision…

As I grew up, I started to see a bigger picture of Jasmin. I started to understand who I really am, and what I’m living for. I wasn’t created to pursue wealth and riches. I wasn’t created to pursue fame and power. Neither am I living to seek the approval of people. Throughout my growing years, in my attempt to pursue these things, the results were emptiness and unnecessary pressure. Moments of glory faded, supposedly given power snatched away. If I were to chase after the things that this world has to offer, I’d either be depressed, insane or both. 

I know it’s ingrained in me. To lead a life out of this world, to touch lives and to touch hearts. These desires... seemingly so invaluable, illogical and foolish. But, there were many times when I tried to run away from these desires; like I've actually drafted out a whole life plan on how I wanted to be successful by the world’s standards. But no, I couldn’t live like that. I couldn't live against my conscience, I felt lost. 

Let me live a meaningful and purposeful life, or just kill me. I’m serious. Though I know that I haven’t got the right to choose my death ofc (:

I know that this path I’m taking is truly DIVERGENT! As what the director of FMS have encouraged us on our graduation ceremony; be divergent. And yes, praise the Lord, this is the extent of my divergence not as an FMS student, but as a child of God.

I’ll definitely receive many disapproving headshakes, disappointments and even advice of goodwill (that isn’t exactly very uplifting for my soul, I'd prefer advice of God's will. HAHA!), yes, I know you may be worried, concerned or something... But I’ve made my decision, and I believe this assertive part of my nature isn’t by coincidence either. I was created for a greater purpose, a greater work for the greatest God of all.

I am going to be pursuing full time missions.

It's time to settle down on this decision,  though everything about my future appears to be a blur right now. My heart could even skip a beat (no, a few beats), and feelings and thoughts of fear and worry would kick in. But! I am going to walk by faith, and not by sight.

Same to you, whoever you are. God is calling you out to be set apart for Him, are you going to obey?