I'm really feeling very depressed about this matter.

I thought and tried all ways to find solutions,

but it won't be of any help anyway.

I just hope my friends can give me encouragements and support,

and not tell me what to do for now.

These are what I need most from my friends now.

it's something my family cannot do,

only my friends can... and it's what i need MOST from you all now ):

When my emotions get stable, then will I ask for advise ):

Of course I tried putting myself in her shoes.

She's a child from a broken family,

I may not know what she's thinking

But I know how she feels,

because I'm roughly going through what she has gone through.

And what i'm going through now,

the feeling is, say... 3 times as worse as her?

Because, I'm now feeling very scared.

Afraid to lose my whole family?

Afraid I may have to leave my friends?

Afraid of many more things, than how she felt when her parents divorced.

And should I say, she likes it?

She wants me to go through the sufferings she had?

Since young, I respected her as my elder sister.

I always talk to her about my problems,

and I trusted her.

I loved her, and I thought she loved me too.

But I don't know if I should trust her now.

Because, she don't care about me anymore,

and she sort of like communicate with me in a threatening manner.

In a sarcastic, stupid, idiotic and threatening manner.

My mother took care of her since young.

My father contributed so much for her in her studies.

I was so obedient towards her.

I don't always listen to my parents,

but always listen to what she says.

Yet.... this must happen?

I think she hates me.

She hates me because I share the same father as her.

She hates me because my parents did not divorce.

She hates me because she couldn't imagine why my dad had to remarry.

She hates me when I'm happy.

She hates me when I smile.

She hates me when I'm better in school than her.

She hates me when I get on good terms with my father.

She hates me when I get close to Jessie Jiejie.

She hates me because of manymany more reasons.

She just hates me.

I hate the feeling of hate.

She has done so many things to hurt me.

Should I hate her tooo?

These problems are flowing continuously,

one after another.

Luckily if one after another,

if not, if all the problems happen at one time.

I really don't know how i am going to handle it.

Dear Friends, can you all be more understading towards me?

I'm busy on the outside, and on the inside.

What I mean outside?

Council, Band, goodybooks,tuition, BVPS alumni band.

What I mean inside?

Emotional problems.

sorting out my thoughts.

Thinking of ways to look on the bright side.

Encouraging myself.

Please don't ask me to help you do homework anymore.

Because I am very stressed up.

Don't come and find me anymore please.

GHJH and CCM,

don't worry about the DV thing.

I promise and SWEAR this will be the last time,

I helping you all le.

I so tired siaa...

[[Problems flowing continuously]]